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Not so Good

So, I had to move from Hartford, CT to Massachusetts because I was getting abused Physically and emotionally by my mother. I started getting depressed as the days went by. I started feeling suicidal. I wrote a note about how I felt, a page and a half.  After that note, I was sent to get a safety evaluation. Then sent again, and was sent to in-patient for a Month. Missed the Washington DC trip with my school. Was put on multiple pills. Found out I have an irregular Heartbeat. They were going to let me go with my mom. I was afraid she was going to beat me or make me feel less of a person. So I told them, I will run away if they do. They kept me for a few extra days. Cried myself to sleep almost every night. They finally let me go with my dad, and exactly one week after they released me, I was put into “Cares” and It was a room with a locked bathroom, a tv, and a bed. I was told to stay in there all day. After I left there, I had to go through a 2 month therapy program.

I am mandated by court to stay at least 24hrs with my mother a week. At this moment, I am on the Freshman Football team, the Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps(AFJROTC), Student Council, Band( I play the Quads, four set of drums), I plan to join the Swimming Team, then Baseball Team. My lowest grade at this moment is a C in English and Algebra 1 Honors. I’d say I’m doing pretty good referring to the tragic events that happened within the last year. Guess what? My stepmom has Lung Cancer. I got kinda sad… kinda really sad. Then I was told she has a type of Lung Cancer that they can’t take out. It’s the type you die from. I don’t know what I’lll do if I lose her. I’m really down right now. It feels like I’m being completely torn apart. Part of me is saying to die, cut, quit, whatever. Then the other part is too down to make a decision. :/

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